Illusions

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise not to come after you with a spatula, either way.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
( my answers )

I have got strep throat. totally sucky. It's receding now but I haven't had the motivation to do anything for the last 3 days. I did watch the entire Firefly series again. So that's a plus.
I have been remodeling my house since the end of May. I am about 80% finished with only a few difficult jobs ahead of me. Should be done in time for a good cookout/hot-tub party before the winter.

I am reposting this.........

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

For sale:
TentSmiths - French Double Bell Tent. 12'x20'6"x10' 8'6" ridge w/ 10' uprights. http://www.tentsmiths.com/period-tents-medieval-wedge-tents.html. Sunforger fabric with green dagging on seams comes with hand forged iron tent stakes. Gently used and kept in shape. $250.00

Museum Replicas Brigandine Armor - Black suede with internal plates. Passes for 3 point armor in CI. $60.00

SCA worthy whisby, groget, helm, greaves, paldrons, etc Please inquire for prices if interested.

To give away for props or to interested individuals:
miscellaneous costumes. Most are good for peasent wear but there are few good items.
Ultralight core and several weapons. two ultralight and one standard.

Any interest please contact me here or at orion58@gmail.com

O, To live

O, to live in a different time;
When passion was not thought a crime
And people lived just as they would,
And different loving neither bad nor good.

O, to live in a different age,
To never feel like you are on a stage;
To be free to act and free do
Whatever felt correct for you.

But those days are gone or never were;
And the path is bent and never sure.
So like the willow, we all must bend.
And trust our roots to help us stand.

Ice and Fire

I am not the only one,
Who can not end what I’ve begun.
For in me dwell both ice and fire,
Mixing fear with my desire.

Many more have felt the same,
Stumbling slowly, taking aim.
And I, like them, shall find my way,
From the darkness into day.

But there is no comfort in me now,
No star to guide my drifting prow,
And fire and ice within me fight
Beneath this canopy of night.

How Soon Is Now?

I am the son and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and the heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How dare you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry and you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen now
When exactly do you mean
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
You shut your mouth
How dare you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Leonard Cohen

Current Mood: thoughtful

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? Can you tell me now?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

Stolen from cybercat.... Now, this is funny

Happy holidays everyone! I wish you all a pleasant time with good friends and family and a very prosperous new year.

1. Grab the nearest book. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

Above them the tall, carven idols rocked very slightly against the blue southren sky: dolphin bodies, gulls' wings folded, human faces with staring eyes of shell.

OK, so I’m jumping in on this. I didn’t answer or post the love/hate meme because I felt that I really didn’t know anyone well enough to participate. So I am doing the “a little about me” list that has started.

( Read more... )

Yep... This is me...

Another friend of mine has died. My friend, I’ll call her Ruthie, was a diabetic and a heavy drinker. I have been worried about her for a while because she had a real problem managing her illness. What really pisses me off about this is that Ruthie and I both were in similar motorcycle accidents and the only difference is that I had good health coverage and she did not. Because of this, she lived in pain with a leg that had healed poorly and could not get any help from the establishment. Finally, a couple of years ago, after exhausting every avenue, she was able to get her leg fixed. Things were looking up, or so it seemed. She died yesterday morning at home. Her stupid druggie roommate didn’t even notice all the noise she was making while she died. I don’t know what happened to her or how this all came down but once again I am reminded of the fragility of life. I am very sad about this. I was thinking of her a lot lately and had planned on seeing her soon. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Ah well, this last weekend I managed to upset someone that I really like. It wasn’t intentional, mind, but I can be very frank when I’m agitated. In the past, I have played several LARPs and I stopped playing them because they became boring and stale. After not playing for about 8 years, I began playing a new one 2 and a half years ago. This is unusual because once I stop doing an activity, I rarely go back. I really like this game and the people that are running it. It was one of these fine ladies whose feelings I hurt. For a variety of reasons, mostly mine but some to do with the game, I decided to quit playing. Now, understand, I have been frustrated with this character for about a year but I kept playing because I REALLY like the game system and the worlds these marvelous people create. However, I’m the sort of person that lets things build up until the dam just breaks. And when that happens, it’s like someone pushes a button. My whole attitude and mindset change and I just act and don’t look back. I have left jobs like this. I have been dealing with a bit of sadness these last few days because this feels more like a divorce than something that happens all the time. I feel really bad about this and I think I could have made my exit less upsetting. Can people still remain friends even though they have little in common; especially when it’s something they no longer share? I would like to think they can.

Well, I really don't do these but this seemed interesting

Ten things about you, physically:
10. I constantly fight my weight
9. I am a lot stronger than I look
8. I have scars on virtually every extremity
7. I don't have a belly button (scar over from an injury)
6. I have a celtic knot tattoo circling my right arm
5. I have an extremely high pain threshold
4. I am very nearsighted
3. My night vision is excellent
2. My eyes are naturally vivid blue
1. I like working with my hands

Nine things about you, mentally/emotionally:
9. I like being outdoors
8. I am really kind of shy
7. I enjoy being around creative people
6. I highly value my friendships
5. I am a third degree wiccan priest
4. I constantly pursue new areas of interest
3. I do LARPs to socialize
2. When something upsets me, I usually burn quick then forget it.
1. I love solving puzzles

Eight favorite drinks:
8. Mountain Dew (though I can only have diet)
7. Coke
6. Lemonade (fresh not that concentrated crap)
5. Root Beer
4. Guinness
3. London Blue Sapphire Gin and Vernor's Ginger Ale
2. A really good Merlot
1. Water

Seven things you wear daily:
7. Chain mail bracelet
6. Two necklaces
5. Earring
4. Contacts
3. Cell Phone
2. Polo
1. Kakis

Six things that annoy you:
6. Bad drivers
5. Telemarketers
4. Rude people
3. Email Spam
2. Having to take up someone else's slack
1. Not having anything to do

Five favorite foods:
5. Salmon
4. A nice medium steak
3. Any kind of fresh salad
2. Apples and peanut butter (sounds weird but it's great)
1. Cheese

Four shows you watch (The ones I keep up with anyway. I watch TV all day)
4. Stargate SG-1
3. Star Trek Enterprise
2. Dead Like Me
1. The Graham Norton Effect

Three celebrities you have a crush on:
3. Jamie Lee Curtis
2. Rae Dong Chong
1. Drew Barrymore (because she reminds me of an old girlfriend)

Two things you come in contact with everyday:
2. Computers
1. My Car

One song you like right now:

1. Reach for the Sun- Polyphonic Spree (just because it makes me feel good)

Wow! It’s been a long time since I updated this thing. Work is going very slowly. Early summer is always a sag for us (because of the fiscal year) so I am using my time researching various applications of new technology and refreshing my programming skills. Just busy work, but I get paid anyway. For the last 2-3 weeks I have been trying to throw off this nasty head-chest-sinus crud that has been going around. It has been a bit of a struggle but it’s finally going away. SI was last weekend and I wanted to go NPC but I still felt icky so I thought it best to just stay home and kick the crud.

Well, anyway, my BP is down to a normal range and the Doc is weaning me off the meds. I am already at half the dose I started with and should be totally off of it soon. The diet the Doc put me on is the South Beach diet but modified for my stomach sensitivities. It has been working great so far - 31 pounds since April 24th (10 weeks). That makes it about 3 pounds a week, which sounds like a lot, but the loss has really been inversely exponential, meaning that the initial weight loss was in the first 4 weeks and it has been dribbling off ever since. This is what is supposed to happen so I guess it is OK. Started at 252 (by my scale) and I was at 221 this morning. My target is 200 but I most likely will reset it lower once I get close. If things go well, that will be in around labor-day. Just in time to let loose at Dragon-Con.

I tend to rotate through my hobbies and I am back into silver-smithing; this is my most expensive hobby so I haven’t made many large objects. I want to make something that combines wood-turning and silver-smithing but I haven’t settled on anything yet. Anybody got any ideas? I was thinking pretty and functional props for my KG character or perhaps to sell. Unfortunately, I think that anything I make would be out of the price range for most of the LARPing community. This week I made a nice silver potion vial with a moonstone set into the top. It looks really good (for a first attempt) but I had to make it out of sterling sheet and it was a real pain in the ass to form since I don’t have a lot of forming stakes and a rolling machine is MUEY Expensive. Anyway, it weighs about 2.5 oz which isn’t that much but with the silver weight, the moonstone and my time, I would have to charge $50-60 for it. Without anything fancy, I could possibly make and sell them for about $25. Custom jobs only for sure. At one time I had a really nice silver dinner bell but it is gone. Maybe I will make another.

Going to the Highlander tonight. Later everyone.

It’s been about a month since I have updated… I really haven’t been up to much. My project in San Diego came off without a hitch, hooray. Managed to work in a trip to the Ga Renn Fest opening weekend but I was much too beat to stay late and I missed seeing some of the folks I know. I plan on returning Memorial Day weekend.

As I have said before, I have too many hobbies. I went to a Gem and Mineral show earlier this month and bought some nice stones that I am making into a headpiece for atomickitten13. She has wanted this for a while and I have been putting it off. Beltane was nice; the group I have the greatest pleasure to be associated with are all intelligent, creative folks and we truly do work and play well on multiple levels.

There was a Celtic fest on the 15th and I went to see some friends of mine play and just generally hang out. I had a good time and got to hear “Rathskelter”. Mostly members of “Seven Nations” and some new players. Celtic Rock with a Bagpipe lead. Very recommended. But this got me thinking of making tippers for Bodhrans (Celtic Drums). Like I said, too many hobbies; I do wood turning also. So, when I got home I laid out the shapes. Last week I turned a few and asked loresinger (who is a great musician) to check them out. She pronounced them “good” which is high praise. However, my concept of what I thought would work was not too good for someone with small hands. I am going to make a couple more with a slimmer profile.

This past weekend was King’s Gate (Yep, another hobby but a fun one). On Thursday I wasn’t feeling 100% so I really was considering not going. But I help trix1e and her husband the props and just couldn’t leave them in the lurch. So I went. I had a great time even though I felt run down all weekend and missed a good bit of the game. I really enjoy this game but I think that I will have to be much more aggressive (which annoys me) in order to obtain what the character needs. So much for being non-confrontational.

Those who know me well know that I had a very bad traffic accident in 2000. This has left me with a number of on-going difficulties that I have been trying hard to eliminate. However, I have lost a good bit of my flexibility and long hours on my feet hurt my hips and back. Well, anyway, it makes it hard for me to keep the weight off and keep in shape. At the end of April, I went to the doctor and got checked out. He changed my medications (for high blood pressure) and put me on the South Beach Diet modified for my stomach sensitivities. OK, I have tried many diets. I have been fighting the weight ever since I was a kid. But this really works. I have lost 18 pds since May 1st with thirty more to go. I have to keep going. I have a lot of nice clothes that I would like to wear again not to mention that losing the weight will help me get off all these pills I’m on. I hate taking pills. I recommend this diet to anyone who needs to lose weight. More than anything, I think the main advantage of this diet is that it teaches you to eat more nutritiously. It’s not counting carbs (except at the beginning) or calories (the allowable foods are varied) and does not leave you hungry.

Well, I have been in the lovely city of San Diego for most of last week. I was doing an engineering survey at a client's location and because they have such a good crew, I got done a little early. I took the time to go to the harbor and tour the maritime museum. When I arrived on Tuesday I got just a glimpse of the 3 and 5 masted ships as I was heading to the hotel. I was hoping I would have time to see them. The admission was $8.00 and well worth it. One wonderful surprise was the “HMS Surprise”. This was the ship used in the movie “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”. I had never been on a sailing ship this large before and I was suitably impressed. The “Californian”, an 1848 Revenue Cutter Replica was closed because they were giving lessons. Apparently, they were getting ready to sail. Very cool. Even though it would be tough, I couldn’t think of any other adventure vacation I would like to do. The "Star of India" is one of the earliest iron hulled ships; just beautiful with all the sails deployed. I took loads of pictures and will post a few as soon as I get them off the flash. Here’s the web site: http://www.sdmaritime.org
Later on that day, I went to Mission Beach just to take a good walk in the waves. No pictures, but I do have sand in my suitcase. All in all, a pretty nice week. Ain't it nice when you actually get a perk from work.